Day 16 - Happy Birthday to me!!

So remember when I said that even though every class is exactly the same but different in the way your body and mind process it?  Well, I guess that was not entirely accurate.  I should also have mentioned that the energy in the room is different each class as well depending on the types of students participating. Last night was my bikram birthday class!! So excited right!?! Well I ended up in a class full of ….?  the correct word escapes me…don't want to be mean. Everyone was talking, walking about, laughing, giggling and the lady behind me just propped herself up on the wall and sat there for 90 minutes doing nothing!! The two times the instructor opened the door for some fresh air to give a bit of a reprieve from the heat she started to move in anticipation asking…"is it over?".  There were maybe 3 or 4 experienced practitioners and about 15 new people with no concept of how a bikram class was supposed to go.  The instructor tried to corral everyone at the beginning and explain the process of a 90 minute open eye moving meditation but the words just flew out the door because no one listened.  I think she just gave up and relied on us to lead by example which also did not work.  Pleased to report that I was still able to maintain my focus and practice and have a decent class despite all the walking about, talking, laughing and groaning.  Not to mention the people that think that blowing air in and out of their mouths forcefully is going to relax them and help them catch their breath….not a great class like the one before but I still felt like I had accomplished something at the end.  Happy Birthday to me!!  

Day 15 Halfway there!!

Bikram Police!! Feeling great and strong for class number 15.  Find a nice quiet spot in the studio and prepare myself for sweat.  Lights turn on and the room is packed.  A man I have never seen but looks quite yoga-esque has set himself up beside me.  Now I know we are supposed to stare at ourselves in the mirror but I do have a wandering eye sometimes….I couldn't help but notice the man next to me.  His postures were absolutely amazing!!  His energy was so great and I have never seen anyone do such a perfect bikram yoga class!! Every posture was picture perfect.  So inspiring! I had a wonderful class practicing next to this man.  I fed off of his energy and stayed strong with him.  Afterwards in the locker room I heard someone mention that we had visitors tonight in class….I guess there were three of them.  They were from Bikram headquarters!  No wonder he was such a great practioner….he has dedicated himself to Bikram yoga.  I have always heard rumours about the so called "bikram police" but thought…no, not possible.  But yet here they were practicing with me in our studio!  I hope they had as wonderful experience as I did….the energy in the room was great.  It's reassuring to know that there are people making sure that Bikram yoga stays Bikram.  I know there are places around that claim to be Bikram but are not.  They are just yoga in a hot room.  I have also heard about shortened Bikram classes lasting only 60 minutes.  I like rules.  I like that Bikram yoga is the same class every time but yet each class is different in the way my body and mind process it.  I am happy that there are people traveling around the world to maintain the integrity of Bikram yoga.  Half way done….

Day 14 It's only yoga

I really want some carbs!!  I have been really watching my diet and reducing my carbs to cut that extra weight off more quickly.  Nothing drastic…I am familiar with the pitfalls of radical dieting.  But I really want some pizza!!  I am making sure to eat some slower digesting carbs an hour or two before class so I will have the stamina to finish the class without collapsing due to low blood sugar.  It's a delicate dance to find the right balance.  I was feeling a bit low energy in savasana before class thinking that this is not going to go so well this evening.   Power through….that's what I told myself.  Funny that during class the teacher said that this type of yoga usually attracts type A personalities…that's me!!  But in the same breath she reminded us that "it's only yoga".  Relax. Breathe. This was really helpful during the spine strengthening series as I have a tendency to contract my entire body.  She reminded us to relax the fronts of ourselves to allow our spines to strengthen and become strong and more flexible.  In floor bow I was really able to kick my feet up behind me when I let go of my "front" and relaxed into it.  Amazing!  To my surprise I had a really strong class.  My triangle is super strong….working on opening my hips and rotating my spine….my knees are locked for almost the entire postures in the standing series.  My lower back is rounding a bit and becoming more flexible.  I looked and felt really strong!  But I still really want a pizza!!!  

Day 13 She came back!!

I couldn't believe my eyes when I got to class last night and saw her sitting there waiting for class….I was shocked….No one ever comes back after leaving just 20 minutes into class.  So I popped on the bench next to her and starting asking about how she felt about her experience the previous night.  Of course she explained that she wasn't expecting it to be so hot and claustrophobic.  She said she just couldn't catch her breath.  I gave her a few tips on dealing with the heat in her first couple classes and said it doesn't matter how much you sit down…just stay in the room.  We walked into the studio together and she sat herself up right behind me.  She did leave the room once after standing separate leg head to knee pose….but the teacher went and got her during savasana and brought her back inside.  She tried to leave a couple of times but the teacher would not let her go. We did have a puker that ran out of the room.  I was glad to see the teacher let her run out!!  Occasionally on a sit up I would give my new yoga buddy a smile of encouragement….letting her know the pain is almost over!!  And she did it.  She finished the class.  Who knows if she'll come back again but she had to feel a sense of accomplishment after that….or else she just hates us all and thinks we're a bunch of crazy people!!  Either way I'm coming back for sure….17 more days to go.  

Days 9,10,11,12 - So it seems….

So it seems that actually doing the 30 day challenge is easier than writing about it.   I guess I've been slacking with the updates….but on a good note I have not been slacking on the yoga!  I have been going faithfully everyday and have completed 12 classes so far.  My injuries are getting better and I am back to 100% in class and loving the sweat.  It's worth mentioning that I am now so used to the sweat that I crave it and want to go to the hottest, sweatiest class.  It's also nice seeing some familiar faces in every class now….there are a few of us that seem to be on the same schedule and going regularly.  It's great to practice with regulars…there's a comradery there….even though we never speak…maybe just a smile or a hello.  It's like we are bonded by the sweat….day in and day out breathing and sweating together through the yoga. As hard as it feels sometimes it's nice to know there are others in class experiencing the same feelings and emotions that I am experiencing in class.  At least I think they are?  It seems like it.  Well, maybe they don't feel the comradery but I do!!  Last night in my 12th class there was a woman I had seen the night before.  She had come in enquiring about the practice and how hard she wants to work out and lose her extra weight…I could sense her sincerity and desperation to change.  It was a welcome surprise to see her in class last night.  I could tell she was ready for the yoga…I gave her an acknowledging smile and willed for her the determination to do it. …to stay through class and find the calm within the panic of her first bikram yoga class.   I remember my first class and how hard and unexpected it was.  It's after I see someone struggling just to breathe in their first class that I realise how far I have come.  I might not be the best practitioner but I can always find and calm my breath through whatever my body is experiencing in class.  I was quite saddened when she disappeared after standing head to knee pose. She left and never came back.  I understand how intimidating it can be when there are people bending and balancing in all sorts of different ways that my body can only hope to do one day.  But all she had to do was stay in the room…stay in the heat.   I hope she comes back….

8 Days Complete!!

I guess taking it easy yesterday was a good thing because I am feeling good today.  I didn't overwork myself like I thought maybe I might have done.  But still I tucked myself into the back corner of the room because I knew that I was still not 100%.  I had a great standing series…stronger and stronger every day…so close to locking my knees. I was able to do more in the floor series than yesterday but still not able to reach deep into some postures like I had been doing before. But I am still making progress and trying to not push too hard. I have my whole life to do yoga….no need to push too hard too soon.  Not too much to say about that class….just trying to keep going and do my best and learn something new each class. Also splurged online for some new yoga shorts and headband. Let's call it an early birthday present to myself!! They will probably arrive just as I complete my challenge which will give me even more incentive to continue to practice so I can use my cute new shorts!! Happy days. 

Day 7 ….

Not feeling 100% when I come to class.  Chest a bit sore and tight.  Not even sure if I should be going to class…but I am doing a 30 day challenge….not "skip a day" challenge so I persevere.  I let the teacher know what's going on with me so she will leave me alone if I sit out of certain postures and modify others and I tuck myself into the back corner of the room. Class starts and then I realise…Damn!  Every posture incorporates your chest somehow!! Thought before that maybe I could just concentrate on my legs and arms but that's not the case. Am I an idiot? How did I not realise this before?!  Well…I'm here now….might as well try to sweat and get the most out of it!!  I actually managed to do most of the class with some slight modifications….sitting out a few postures but still managing to get a good sweat going. On a positive note I can feel myself getting stronger and tighter, able to contract deeper into each muscle.  I really paid attention to my body during this class…noticing everything I was feeling.  It was hard on my ego to tone my practice down a bit but it was great for body awareness.  Hopefully I didn't cause any more injury and the heat and moderate stretching was a help rather than a hindrance…..guess I'll find out soon enough!!! 

Day 6 Ouch!

I walk into the studio ready to kill it thinking I'm on a roll.. class #6!  Alright!   I sign up and the guy says "Wow…this is only your 6th class…you have a long way to go" Thanks…that's the pep talk I needed!  No problem…Not going to let that bother me…I got this.  After yesterday's class I am going to have complete focus and determination.  Cute shorts…check. Cute top…check.  Looking good…no distractions.  As class starts I can feel myself getting into the zone…feeling it and working hard….knees are closer to locking, thighs not shaking so much, stomach muscles tucked in and tight.  Standing sequence complete!  Floor series starts….doing good….remembering "rock" lesson and squeezing inner thighs and knees together moving slowly into the postures to get them just right.  Head to knee pose and stretching pose comes.  Just to back track a little I have an old sports injury.  If I overstretch through my sternum and intercostal cartilage something weird happens…some sort of overstretch response I guess…not a doctor.  Anyway my ribcage and sternum feel like they are contracting and won't expand and I can't breathe deeply or lay down.  I have to be very careful when stretching to not pull too fast or too hard.  So I am very careful in camel and all those other obvious chest openers.  But who would have thought that I could injure this area in head to knee and stretching pose?!  Not me obviously.  Because wouldn't you know second to last posture and BAM!…I feel it.  I pulled my chest forward too hard.  Ouch! Immediately after class I take some anti-imflammatories to hopefully stop this from becoming a legitimate injury.   I am going to keep loading up on the ibuprofen and I guess we'll see what happens….not happy.

Day 5 You again?

Day 5.  It's the small victories.  The best thing about tonight's class was my exit out of the second set of rabbit.  Rabbit and I are not friends…  My spine is not as flexible bending forward as I would like and I find rabbit pose to be very challenging. But none the less I give it a go and struggle hard to breath and round my spine, but as hard as I try my forehead still does not touch my knees.  I finally heard….(I'm sure they have been saying this the entire time, but this is the first time I really "heard"it) …pull hard on your heels as you come out of rabbit really making room and stretching your spine.  For a brief moment I felt my spine opening just the slightest amount.  Victory!  Subject change. I am really tired of looking at myself in the mirror.  I had a really difficult time concentrating in class today.  I was very distracted by my yoga shorts.  I looked around and feel quite self conscious suddenly.  There were only a few of us that have on shorts made for bikram.  Most had on long pants….no idea how they do that.  So hot!  Should I also be wearing long pants?  I used to think my bikram shorts were cute.  But having only two pairs alternately every other day I am getting tired of seeing them over and over again even though it's only been a few days.  I go online shopping in my head during class wondering what cute shorts I can get and how long it will take them to get here and what brand I should buy…slying looking around to see what some of the other girls are wearing for comparison.  Then my top comes into view…I have only two cotton tanks that I also alternate.  I am really thinking that I should be investing more money in my yoga clothes at this point.  Should I? Is it worth it? Should I get the special tops made for sweat? Wait!  That's not what yoga is about is it? My head is full of words!  So during all of this my yoga goes on auto pilot.   But I finished the class with a small victory at least.  So much for my steadfast focus.  Maybe next time. 

Day 4 thinking hard

I am ready.  I am ready to implement all of the things I learned with the amazing, albeit somewhat humiliating, rock lesson.  Ready to stand up straight, not hyperextend my knees…squeeze the backs of my inner thighs and lock that knee!!  Tonight's class was a little difficult. I felt that maybe the teacher thought I was being lazy as I was taking extra time to get into the standing postures, but I was really focusing on getting my leg muscles working correctly. It's going to take some practice. My knees are still working on staying locked in the standing sequence and shaking like crazy in standing separate leg stretching!!  Sometimes my thighs shake so much I feel like everyone around me is watching and can feel the vibrations!!  But the shaking means I am trying!!   Next task, concentrating hard on my deep stomach muscles, pulling them in connecting them to my pubic bone….especially in standing separate leg head to knee pose.  Trying to keep my stomach muscles in tight while breathing when I'm bent over forward with my head on my knee is proving to be quite difficult! I still feel that over the few years I have been practicing I have made no progress in that posture.  The floor series was pretty good...thought about my knees and connecting my inner thighs to my pubic bone and stomach and lifting from the inside of my legs.  Not too much drama in this class….I was thinking a lot….probably over thinking a lot because I want to get it perfect.  Right?  Perfect like the girl who can do the splits in standing bow pose, or the one who can place her head on the floor in camel pose.  Even if I did a 1,000 day challenge I am probably never going to able to do that!  I will just keep doing what I can and see what happens…how far my body can go over time.  And trust me, if I ever am able to do either of those things I will post pictures for sure!!!!   

Day 3 Woop! Woop!

Day 3 finds me still stiff and sore but slowly regaining strength in my arms and legs…I'm feeling great about my classes so far and then I see the schedule.  The only class I can get to today is being taught by my nemeses…let's call him "Joe".  Just because I don't know any Joe's…don't want to offend anyone.  This requires a bit of a backstory…maybe a year or so ago I was taking a class with "Joe".  He is the instructor that will not let you adjust your towel, you may not wipe off sweat or drink water except for when says.  All of that is fine because I don't do those things…I don't fidget…I am focused….I thought "I got this, right"?  Wrong!  Apparently my triangle was not up to his satisfaction and rather than letting me take a well deserved savasana after two sets I had to do a third set of triangle!  What?!?  Who does that? So not a big fan of Joe.  Backstory complete.  I don't have a lot of free time so I have to go to yoga whenever I can squeeze it in…Joe's class it is.  I get there and set myself up…focused determined.  There are some newbies in class which is great because he's leaving me alone then. I am very focused as he talks about standing still in the waterfall of gravity.  Then we get to the floor series. I have some wonky knees that I thought were just built that way.  Apparently Joe thinks they need to be corrected.  I'm in locust and he puts a rock between my knees and says "don't drop it". The whole rest of the spine strengthening series I have to hold this rock between my knees!!  Every posture he would put it back in "don't drop it"!  I didn't drop it.  I almost cried….but I didn't drop it.  After class he came to me and gave me a very thorough lesson about my knees and my hips and how to correct the malalignment and helped me to learn to feel the muscles of my inner thighs and lift from there rather than rotating my hips and lifting with my outer glute muscles, how to stand and lock my knees without hyperextending them, and how to connect my inner thighs through my pubic bone up to my stomach muscles deep inside.  I learned that I have a lot of work to do….over the last three years no other teacher has ever noticed the issue or just didn't bother to correct it.  Thanks "Joe".    You Rock!!  ;)

Day 2!

Woke up feeling a bit sore and stiff from my first class. Felt those long lost back muscles that I had forgotten about. Hamstrings tight. But I knew that hot hot room would help to to stretch everything out again. I got to class early just to get warm and let my body feel the heat.  It was a pretty small class with an amazing teacher. Apparently she used to be a part of Bikram's teacher training team.  Just hearsay….maybe, maybe not.  But she's great!  I felt pretty good in class but a bit frustrated with my knees….I tell them to lock and my thighs to contract but they are not following orders.  So I stay in the beginning phase of 'standing head to knee' and a few others just waiting for my muscles to strengthen again…. its a lesson in humility and patience. I can only do as much as my body will allow at this point and I need to quiet my ego about I 'used to do'. The depth will come with time….I see it as a reward for hard work.  I had a heavy mouth breather next to me which really helped me to focus and calm my breath.  It was a tough hot class but I was able to calm my body and just breathe. At one point the instructor said this about breathing… "just tell your body it's okay….because it is okay".  One great thing about coming back from a long break is that instead of being a beginner and the teacher just saying a lot of words that you can't possibly do and think about all at once….now I am able to dissect them and really feel what it is my body is supposed to be doing.  I feel like even though I don't have the depth I am getting the "correctness" of a posture.  blah blah blah…..2 down/28 to go.  Good times! 

I must be crazy…..

So….Let me just start by saying I have been doing Bikram Yoga for a year fews.  I'm not that great at it.  I have taken a bit of a break over the past 3 months indulging on the good things in life and my body is definitely paying the price.  What better way to get back into shape than 30 days of hell in "Bikram's Torture Chamber"?!  That is a well deserved punishment for my over indulgence.

Yesterday was Day 1.  I always love when people post before and after photos so I can see the results but I am much to vain for that.  Let's just say that I don't look that good and I don't look that bad… So yesterday I spent the day hydrating and mentally preparing myself for the challenge ahead…I was pleasantly surprised that my first class went a bit better than I had imagined.  It was nice to see familiar faces welcoming me back….although silently judging me for my "new appearance"  (no….yogi's don't do that do they?!? ) Without the boring details I made it through and it felt good to sweat again…. I have lost some strength and flexibility of course….eating pizza on your couch is probably not going to make you stronger or more flexible…. But I held my head up high and focused on my postures and breathing and it felt good.  I am glad to be back.  I guess we will see if that holds true for class #2 in a few hours!!